


Thoughts and Considerations

by Clefster1 (zephyrprince)



Category: Majikku Naito Reiāsu | Magic Knight Rayearth
Genre: CLAMP, Canon - Anime, Canon - Manga, Chromatic Source Creator(s), Chromatic Source(s), English language, Gen, Gen Fic, Japanese Source(s), Missing Scene(s), POC source creator(s), Woman Source Creator(s), Woman of Color Source Creator(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2001-05-05
Updated: 2001-05-05
Packaged: 2017-10-15 07:48:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/158654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zephyrprince/pseuds/Clefster1
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of different characters' thoughts at various points in the series.</p><p>It is from my youth, posted here for preservation only and is therefore permanently incomplete.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Death of a Warrior

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this story in 2001 when I was fourteen and first starting to write. As such I find it both embarrassing and horrifying and also adorable and fascinating so I am memorializing it here.
> 
> This work is permanently incomplete.
> 
> This story was originally posted on fanfiction.net at http://www.fanfiction.net/s/272050/1/Thoughts_and_Considerations

Eagle's Dieing Thoughts

Death of A Warrior

Author's Notes: Eagle's thoughts before he decides to enter the final battle against Debonair. It's not my best work, but I think its ok, and I hope it lives up to Eagle and his sacrifice at the end of the series.

I am dying. I know I am dying. It is a strange thing to know that one's self is going die. We know that we will some time have to face the eternal unknown on the other side of life, but to know that it will be soon and almost to know the very day. That is a strange thing.

I love my country. To Autozam I owe everything I am… or everything I was, and to it I owe my ultimate loyalty. But now my contract with them is complete. If she is true to her word, then Autozam will be able to use the pillar system when this battle is over, and it will not die…it will not share my fate, I have sworn to that much. But now I have paid my debt to them, and now I am free to act on my own behalf. The only way to further ensure that they will gain use of this system is to aid my friends in the battle against Debonair, but I don't know who Debonair is. She is said to have been created by the hearts of the people of Cephiro. They created her now let their creation do the bidding of all of their deepest darkest most sheltered thoughts, hidden in the nooks and crannies of their hearts, but even if that is how I feel it will not save my country, and there are other…considerations.

Then it is decided…I will fight for my country…and for them. I know they are out there. They are out there even now, fighting, fighting for their lives, and I sit sheltered in this giant tin can, but I will fight. I love them, and they know that. Lantis was special, I knew it when he first arrived on my planet, and Hikaru. The only one who would rival my will, someone who feels as strongly about something as I do about my country, she is truly a beautiful person. I love them both, even knowing that they love each other…and I know that much more than the pillar system for Autozam is hanging in the balance of this battle.

Poor Geo, I know your thoughts, I can read you like a book, but I can not stay here with you as much as you would like it to be so. I am going now, and you can feel it too. You know I am dying and I hope you will respect my final and unyielding wish…to die a warrior.

So I will fight and I will die, for my country and for my love, but mostly for myself. I hope I am remembered. The one who saved Autozam, and my sacrifice does not go unnoticed, but if it does so be it. I can wipe away my posterity with a wave of my hand, and if I am not remembered then it means little, because I am not doing this for fame, I am doing it for me and for my code and my soul, that it might find peace in whatever life waits for me on the other side of this one. The line between life and death I so thin, and I am so close I can almost see…

…And here I die in battle, a warrior and a lover…


	2. Forbidden Love Part 1

He fills my thoughts, and my mind constantly wanders to his face, but I know it will never be. It can not be. I can not let it, for I am the pillar, and the pillar can love nothing, can think of nothing, but her country. And I do love Cephiro. It is truly beautiful. And I love the citizens of my world, and I will continue to hold it in my prayers and I will single handedly hold it up, but it is becoming a burden, and I fear I can not hold it much longer.

Is it right to let a whole kingdom rest on the shoulders of one person. After all, any person no matter their position is a still human, and humans make mistakes…and humans fall in love. If only these to things were not the same. If only my love could be not a mistake, but what it should be…a gem…a beautiful flower.

Why? Why is this happening to me? I did not want to be the pillar, but it was my destiny. I was raised for this post, and I have upheld it well… until now. I am growing up, but that fact means that I will never grow old. I can not be allowed to mature, or I will put thousands of innocent lives in jeopardy. It isn't fair!

Zagato, I love you, but you must stay away from me. I push you out of my mind reluctantly. Clef can feel it, and I fear he knows. I suppose I must do it, but I don't want to. I want to live, but I want to love, and what of the girls that would be summoned, what of their hearts? Can I really put my selfish desires above three strangers.' And yet I must not just for me, for my country and my people.

Magic Knights, I am truly sorry!

…and now we ** _are_** free…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This work is permanently incomplete.


End file.
